Wedding Unity Candle
Does anyone have an alternative to a unity candle at a wedding ceremony?
I’m getting married in June and am looking for a unique idea besides a unity candle for the ceremony. My fiance is Vietnamese and I would like to include a tradition, or come up with something unique of our own. We are getting married by a friend who was ordained under a tent by the lake, so we don’t have any religious restrictions. Any suggestions? Thanks for your help!
I am getting married in 11 days and this is what we are doing:
Box, Wine & Love Letter Ceremony”
While there are so many traditions that a couple can incorporate into their
wedding vows, such as the Unity Candle, The Rose Exchange, and many more, there is one special idea that I have recently learned about from my dear friend, Richard (Thanks Rich!) who attended a wedding in Holland. While he was not sure if it was a Dutch tradition, he found it to be extremely touching. When he returned to the states, he could not wait to share this with me. Basically the JP or officiant asks the couple getting married to find a strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine and two wine glasses. The couple is then asked to each write a letter to one another, expressing their thoughts about the good qualities that they found in their future partner and their reasons for falling in love with each other. Under no condition can they read each other’s letter. They are to seal them and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. Upon finalizing the wedding ceremony, the officiant will announce to the guests that he / she had asked the couple to write letters to each other and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. The officiant will explain that should the couple ever find their marriage in serious trouble, before making any irrational
decisions, they must open the box, drink wine together, and read the letter that they wrote to one another to reflect on why they fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope is that there will never be a reason to have to open the box, unless of course, it is for a 25 year anniversary! At the wedding in Holland, members of the wedding party were handed nails to hammer (which I dress up with a white ribbon and bow) the box shut. However, as an alternative, I suggest that it be the couple to each take a nail and hammer the box shut (with two pre-drilled holes to make it easier to hammer), if only to add that special touchinto their wedding vows. This is only a suggestion, but I just think that it makes the ceremony extra special for the couple.
Truthfully, I find this to be the most romantic (and coolest!) addition to
incorporate into a marriage ceremony. Not that my husband and I needed to do this (well o.k., maybe sometimes!), but I wish that we had. It would have been fun opening it up on our 25th Anniversary!
The Officiant would say the following:
“Alexis & Travis, I have asked you as a couple, to find a strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine, and two wine glasses. In addition, I have asked each of you to write a letter to one another, expressing your thoughts about the good qualities that you have found in your future partner, as well as, your reasons for falling in love with each other. I requested that under no condition were you to read each other’s letter, and that you were to seal them in individual envelopes and put them in the box with the wine and glasses.”
“Alexis & Travis, should you ever find your marriage enduring serious
difficulties, I am asking that before you make any irrational decisions, that you both, as a couple, open the box, drink some wine together, and then venture off into separates rooms to read the letters that you wrote to one another when you were united as a couple. By reading these love letters, you will reflect upon the reasons that you fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope here is, that there will never be a reason for you to open this box, unless of course, it is for your 25 year anniversary!”
“Alexis & Travis, I now ask that each of you take a nail, one at a time, and hammer the box shut.”
Unity Candle
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